The Civil War and Peach Pie

No, they're not beautiful. But they tasted pretty good.

Peach Pie and Apple Pie

A Civil War soldier once wrote to his wife back home, “Soldiering is 99% boredom and 1% sheer Terror.”


So my little story goes like this:

We were expecting company for dinner.
A few minutes before taking 2 pies out of my 425 degree oven, Daughter A calls.
Begin cell phone conversation with her.
Timer goes off. Of course. Must take pies out of oven. Really. MUST.
Grab pot holders.
Try to coax blind, deaf dog away from the front of the stove while holding cell phone against my ear with my shoulder.
I know. You're thinking, 'Why doesn't she just hang up?!' Honestly, it never occurred to me.

 'But it's so comfy here.'

Dog won't move. Pies must come out.
Slowly slide dog out of the way with the side of my foot, pleading with her to please hurry. (She's deaf.)
Dog eventually takes the hint and gets up and walks a few feet to step right into the dog water bowl  tipping it over. A gallon and a half of water has made a small lake on the floor.
Naturally, the dog won't walk in the water. She's only blind and deaf. She's not stupid.
I give my dog a heartfelt apology and pet her.
Pies must come out. Open oven door.
Smoke from spills comes billowing out.
Why did I overfill these pies??
Smoke alarm shrieks. Repeatedly. Repeatedly! Repeatedly!! Repeatedly!!!!
I grab Pie A and get  it out, burning my fingers because my stupid hot pad is too thin.
Why do I keep that thing? Why didn't I grab the good ones that Bonnie made for me?? (Because they're so PRETTY!)
Grab a good hot pad.
I reach for Pie B and get it out. Why are pie plates so slippery?

Cell phone beeps. What?? I'm getting a second call, this one from Daughter B. (Calls from the two of them never ever happen simultaneously, except when my fingers are hurting, there's water all over the floor, and my pies are threatening to burn.)
I ignore the beeping momentarily and tell Daughter A 'Hang on!'
Pies are out on racks, Daughter B has given up (and I'll phone her later)
I'm now skating across the floor with a towel under each foot, trying to mop up the water.
Smoke alarm finally stops. I've got to remember to replace the batteries on those things! I'm convinced that they go off at the slightest emission from my oven, but probably would remain silent if the house were on fire.
Dog wanders around and finally lies down on her bed.
Daughter A hangs up.
Phone Daughter B.
Put pie crust strips into oven.
Sigh.
Life back to normal.
Resume general duties.

When I've got leftover pie crust, I put it on a cookie sheet, sprinkle sugar and cinnamon on it, and bake it for I don't know, maybe 10 minutes at 400 degrees? or is it 425 degrees?

Do you do this? My kids have always loved it.

***

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