Body Language
I know, it hardly seems fair to use a photo of the ancestors as an object lesson, does it. But still, every time I see this, I am reminded of how often people just don't get along, insist upon having their own way, won't back down for anything, and keep a grudge going forever.
I knew the woman in the photo. She is my husband's great aunt. I loved her very much. Who knows? Maybe they both were suffering from a bad bit of potato...or maybe, like the rest of us humans, they had those cranky 'It's your fault' moments.
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'A soft answer turns away wrath'... 'Don't let the sun go down upon your anger'... 'Blessed are the peacemakers'... Those are just a few Scriptures that also come to mind when I see this photo.
All it takes is one person to say, 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me' or one person to say, 'I was wrong. You were right.' Those words can defuse so many tense moments, soften a hard heart, and bring healing to a relationship.
Contrary to popular opinion, it is not a character flaw to admit we were wrong or to say we are sorry. Quite the opposite is true, and kind words do heal. I know that when my husband says he's sorry, it melts my heart. And when I apologize to him, that wedge of tension that separated us evaporates.
We gain so much when we are the one who is willing to step up and ask for forgiveness. We gain nothing by digging in, holding our ground, and waiting.
Oh, I'm not talking about the non-apology, you know, 'IF I've offended you...' as though the person offended is at fault. We all know very well that is not an apology. That is like saying, 'I'm sorry you are such an idiot that you were offended' and blaming the other person all over again.
I think it's my first inclination to feel like I'm risking something by being the first to apologize. But really, what are we risking? Well, possibly risking rejection by the other person who won't forgive. But balancing that against honoring the Lord in obedience? Hmmm. Let's risk it. Let's be willing to be used of God to heal a relationship and leave the outcome in His hands.
Colossians 3:13:
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
P.S. I'll have to keep in mind that I may be used as an object lesson some day to another generation. I'm so grateful that we have a forgiving Savior who never turns the penitent sinner away.
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